Thumper's Hospital Adventure

"Thumper's Hospital Adventure" is a children's book which introduces kids to common cancer terms and the hospital through a comforting perspective (a toy animal).

"Thumper's Hospital Adventure" follows Thumper, a toy bunny, as he goes on a daring journey through the children's hospital in search of his best friend, Katie.  The two are tragically separated moments after Katie is diagnosed with cancer (leukemia), but Thumper will stop at nothing until he is by her side once more. 

All proceeds of this book benefit Make-A-Wish^®.

You can follow Thumper and all of his adventures on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter @ThumperExplores.  "Thumper's Hospital Adventure" is available for purchase on Amazon in paperback and Kindle edition.

It's All How You Read It

I'm nothing

I'll never feel that

I'm important

I have value and that

I matter

I wholeheartedly believe that

I'm worthless

I'm a loser and that

I'll never amount to anything

You can't ever say

I'm special

(Now read again, this time from the bottom upwards.)

Letters to Myself

Reading through one of my journals recently, I found this letter I had to respond to.  Below is the letter and my response.

November 3, 2008

Dear Katie 2018,

Hello. How are you today? I just know you have succeeded in so much since my time. How's your job? Did you decide what you want to teach yet? Where are you working? Where did you go to college? (That would help me so much so I don't waste applying elsewhere.) How did treatment go? How was your Make-A-Wish? Have you visited your favorite teacher since you graduated high school, or has he successfully avoided you?

Who is President of the a United States? Wow. Whoever wins tomorrow will be out of office by 2018!

So, how is life going? I'd hope you are still close with your family and holding true to the same wacky traditions! What has your brother been up to? He must be doing well by now. I hope you are still involved with the community and are raising awareness for cancer.

Whatever you are doing I hope you are positively affecting people's lives. See you soon!

Love,

Your 17-year-old shadow

June 26, 2014

Dear Katie 2008,

Well, I sort of intercepted this letter a bit early.  But I can answer many of your questions, so I hope you will not mind!

Today, I am fine. We are teaching chemistry at a high school in New England. It is close to home, without being in the same town. You went to a great school in Connecticut, but I will let you figure that one out for yourself (you're not applying to many anyway).

Treatments went fine, and ended right on time. You are doing well today (*knocks on wood*). You have visited your favorite teacher...you more of have not left him alone! I'm just going to say, that you will REALLY enjoy and get a lot out of student teaching!

Our Make-A-Wish was AWESOME!!! You met the man of our dreams, and it was PERFECT! Do not lose hope! Keep believing that when it is meant to be, it will work itself out.

I can't answer who will be President. But tomorrow will be a pleasant surprise for you.

We're still close with the family (but the bro and you might get a house in the near future). He us teaching! Kindergarten! In a city! 

You do what you can to raise awareness, but are trying to get more involved to leave a bigger impact. Baby steps.

After your first year of teaching, I can honestly say that you are positively changing lives. I hope we continue to, and never lose faith in our dreams!

Best of luck to you,

Katie 2014

Six Word Memoir

Quick exercise that was shared with me.  Write your memoir in six (6) words.  Here's my first stab at it:

Riddled with challenges, conquered by determination.

And who is to say you can only have one?  It can change as you do.  Feel free to revise or rewrite as necessary!  

What is Luck?

“Luck”

What is “luck”?

Good things happening to those who deserve it?

Being prepared to pounce when opportunity knocks?

What is “luck”?

How would you define someone who is “lucky”?

How could you identify them?

Are they simply enjoying what they’re given?

Or are they given more than others

Which in turn makes them happy?

Can you be lucky and unhappy?

Are “luck” and “happiness” synonymous?

Can you have one without the other?

Are you destined to have either both or neither?

What is luck?

Do you have any?

Who do you know that does?

What do they have that is different than you?

“Luck.”

Wanted Ad

Single sock seeks sole mate.  Seeking that special someone who enjoys long walks in the park, warming up by the fire, and stretching out on the couch after a long day on your feet.  Pass times include playing footsy and football.  Cotton blend a must, matching color a plus.

I am Who I am Because

Everyone is original,
But not why you think.
We are conglomerates of the people
Who've toughed our lives.

You wouldn't be who you are
Without these influences.

You wouldn't
Shouldn't
Couldn't
Be who you are.

Subtle or otherwise,
They've each left their mark.

People enter our lives for a reason.
Those who leave fingerprints
On our hearts
Should never be forgotten.

They become a part of us.

I am who I am
For many reasons.
My family, friends, loved ones, heroes, and teachers.
Those who have been there,
Listened,
Trusted,
Directed,
Believed in me,
Cared.

All they have done
Can never be repaid.

The influence they've had
On who I am today
Is a wonderful gift.

A product of their time,
Love,
Compassion,
Kindness,
Dedication,
Generosity:

Me.

My Love Could Kill Me

I could be blinded by your smile.
I could melt by your touch.
I could drown in your eyes.
I could suffocate in your voice.
I could get lost in YOU.


My love for you is dangerous.
Although it could strike me dead,
I wouldn't trade it for life itself.

Something Changed

We were just talking.  Talking like we always do on Tuesday nights.  Then we were more than talking.  I can’t tell you exactly when it happened.  It just did.  At some point, she went from being my best friend, to my lover.  I cared about her on a much more intimate level.  I can’t explain the feeling.  It just happened.

Then again, how can you describe love to anyone who has not experienced it?  It was just so sudden and unexpected.  Are silences were no longer awkward.  We could communicate without words.  Just our presence was enough for the other.

It was beautiful.

She was beautiful.

I never want to go back to just being friends.  Now I understand how someone would do just about anything for another person.  Something has changed, and I can tell it is going to be wonderful.

Petals

Fresh petals like blood

On the clean fallen snow.

The verdict is out;

He loves you not.

ANNOUNCEMENT: Change of Labels

I wanted to announce that posts that have previously been labeled “poems” are now under “creative writing.”  I have made the change to incorporate a broader horizon of pieces, and make it clear which posts are fictional, and which are factual.  You will still find poems under this label.

Not Again...

     “Okay.  I’m just going to check the right one, and then we’re all done.”
     That sort of tickles.

     “Hmm.”

     She doubles back over the same spot and makes tighter, more concentric circles.

     “Does that hurt?”

     “No.  I can hardly feel it at all.”

     See hovers for another moment.

     “Oh-kay.  I’m just going to send you for an ultrasound.  I found a small mass in your right breast, and just want to have it checked out.  There should be nothing to worry about since it is mobile and doesn’t seem to hurt.  I just want to have a closer look at it.  You can schedule the appointment on your way out.  You can get dressed now.”

     See exits the room, leaving me to my imagination.

     Should be nothing to worry about.  Easier said than done.  She said it as if she were suggesting a new restaurant. 

     A mass.  What the hell?

     To anyone, being told they have a mass in their breast would be terrifying.  For a cancer survivor, it is even worse.  You are warned and warned time after time that each medicine and treatment you take, a secondary cancer is a possible side effect.  You live day to day with the threat of a possible relapse or recurrence hanging over your head like a heavy dark shadow.  But you hope for the best.  What are your other alternatives?  You think: how can you be “lucky” enough to draw the short stick twice in one lifetime?  It won’t be me.

     It might.

     It seems now, clearer than ever, that my run of luck is not yet over.

     It could be nothing.

     I hope it’s nothing.

     It might not be nothing.

     Can I really handle this all over again?

     Would I survive this time around?

     I would I be one of the lucky round two cancer survivors?

     It could be nothing.

     It might be nothing.

     Only time will tell.

     One day at a time.  No one is guaranteed a tomorrow.  At least I had today.

     My life is not yet over.  I still have a lot of living to do.

     It could be nothing.

     It might be nothing.

     PLEASE be nothing!

A prayer for everyone who has dealt with a threat like that above: I wish you all the best.  That your worrying is for nothing, and that if it is not, that you have the love and support you need to get you through every trial.  Good luck, and may God be with you (even if you do not believe).

They'll Never Get It

People see that I’m young and say:

“You’ll never understand.”

“You’ve never known pain,”

“You’ve never known sorrow,”

“You’ve never known sacrifice,”
“You’ve never known loss,”
“You’ve never known darkness,”

“You’ve never known suffering.”

I see these people beaten down by life and think:

“They’ll never understand.”

All Talk

They told me to dream on.

          I did.

They told me to move on.

          I wouldn’t.

They told me to forget about it.

          I couldn’t.

They said it wouldn’t last.

          It has.

They said he was a fake.

          He isn’t.

They said I’d never have a chance.

          I do.

They said it would never happen.

          It did.

 

They were wrong.

Hair Today...

     “It’s all going to go eventually.”

     “But I need to hold to what I can as long as I can.”

     “Here?”

     “Yes.”

     Tracy snipped through the ponytail so effortlessly.  I felt a weight lifted from me as the last tie to normalcy was cut.  There would be no going back, and yet these were the tides of time I had no hope of fighting. 

     Within seconds I gazed up to see Tracy holding my ponytail up for me to see in the mirror.  It was a perfect metaphor for how disconnected I felt from my own life: looking through the mirror at hair that should be attached to my body. 

     “You have cancer.”

     Who could prepare you for that? 

     Tracy was right; it would all go eventually.  My hair has always been my best feature.  Whoever says it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all has never lost anything they truly love.  If you do not know what you are missing, how could you miss it at all?  If you know what it is like to love something, it hurts all the more when you have to watch it slipping away.

     It wasn’t just that I was going bald; bald can be beautiful.  Each strand that fell from my head, made me realize how much sicker I was getting.  If that follicle had given up its fight, what was to stop the rest of my body from doing the same?

     Each morning as I arose from my pillow, less and less of my hair would join me for the rest of my day.  The mere threat of washing my head in the shower made another 50 strands commit suicide down the drain.  Brushing quickly was reduced to combing, and even then I was able to do most of it without touching my head at all. 

     I don’t think this loss would be so hard, if I had someone to help cushion the blow.  This is a battle that should not be fought alone; the support of a family and friends help carry the burdens of cancer.

I am a Teacher

I am a Teacher

by John W. Schlatter

I am a Teacher.

      from the mouth of a child.

I have been many people in many places.

I am Socrates exciting the youth of Athens to discover new

      ideas through the use of questions.

I am Anne Sullivan tapping out the secrets of the universe

      into the outstretched hand of Helen Keller.

I am Aesop and Hans Christian Andersen revealing truth

      through countless stories.

I am Marva Collins fighting for every child's right to an

      education.

The names of those who have practiced my profession ring 

      like a hall of fame for humanity...Booker T. Washington,

      Buddha, Confucius, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Leo Buscaglia,

      Moses and Jesus.

I am also those whose names and faces have long been

      forgotten but whose lessons and character will always  

      be remembered in the accomplishments of their  

      students.

I have wept for joy at the weddings of former students, 

      laughed with glee at the birth of their children and 

      stood with head bowed in grief and confusion by graves

      dug too soon for bodies far too young.

Throughout the course of a day I have been called upon to

      be an actor, friend, nurse and doctor, coach, finder of

      lost articles, money lender, taxi driver, psychologist,

      substitute parent, salesman, politician and a keeper of

      the faith.

Despite the maps, charts, formulas, verbs, stories and

      books, I have really had nothing to teach, for my

      students really have only themselves to learn, and I

      know it takes the whole world to tell you who you are.

I am a paradox. I speak loudest when I listen the most. My

      greatest gifts are in what I am willing to appreciatively

      receive from my students.

Material wealth is not one of my goals, but I am a full-time

      treasure seeker in my quest for new opportunities for

      my students to use their talents and in my constant

      search for those talents that sometimes lie buried in

      self-defeat.

I am the most fortunate of all who labor.

A doctor is allowed to usher life into the world in one magic

      moment.

      I am allowed to see that life is reborn each day with  

      new questions, ideas and friendships.

An architect knows that if he builds with care, his structure

      may stand for centuries. A teacher knows that if he

      builds with love and truth, what he builds will last

      forever.

I am a warrior, daily doing battle against peer pressure,

       negativity, fear, conformity, prejudice, ignorance and

       apathy: But I have great allies: Intelligence, Curiosity,

       Parental Support, Individuality, Creativity, Faith, Love

       and Laughter all rush to my banner with indomitable

       support.

And who do I have to thank for this wonderful life I am so

       fortunate to experience, but you the public, the

       parents. For you have done me the great honor to

       entrust to me your greatest contribution to eternity,

       your children.

And so I have a past that is rich in memories. I have a

       present that is challenging, adventurous and fun

       because I am allowed to spend my days with the

       future.

 

I am a teacher...and I thank God for it every day.

I was born the first moment that a question leaped  

Who Am I Now?

I look in the mirror, and what do I see?

Who is that person staring at me?

They are wearing my clothes

Standing alone in my bedroom;

All signs point to me,

But something is different.

I don’t know what happened,

It’s hard to explain.

One day I was healthy,

The next I was not.

Everything went quite normal,

As much as cancer can go.

I was just sick and needed healing,

Until something went astray.

People were caring, kind, and considerate;

My friends would look after me.

Then people began treating me differently.

Once I thought everything could go back to the way it had been,

Society saw someone else inside of me.

The way I was regarded was weird nonetheless,

From some was an improvement,

Others not so.

My so called “friends-for-life”

Seemed to avoid me,

Leaving me to wonder what I had done or said.

If it was my fault,

I am sorry.

If it wasn’t,

Grow up;

I had to.

If it is jealousy,

I’ll switch places anytime.

I look around at all I have missed

And wonder if I even care anymore?

My priorities have been straightened,

My goal, interests, and ambitions aligned.

I feel different.

I act different.

I look different.

I AM different.

     I don’t know if anyone ever “survives” cancer treatment.  You never will get your old life back; you usually get something better.

Roses are Red, Violets are Purple

Roses are Red,

Violets aren’t Blue.

I never understood that poem;

Did you?

If violets were blue

They wouldn’t be called “violets.”

If there were only a word to rhyme with “purple,”

This poem could be one of my favorites.

Because You’re My Friend

Because You’re My Friend

Although you are gone,

You still live on.

Your smile and laughter will fade,

As the waves of time smooth

The sharp edges of my memories.

Minor details of our time together will become obsolete,

As long as I can hold on to the love I feel for you today.

You were on this Earth so briefly,

And I knew you even shorter still,

Yet my life was made so much brighter,

Just because I could call you my friend.

I can never thank you for what you’ve done for me.

Words cannot even begin to describe,

How much you have changed my life for the better,

Just because I could call you my friend.

I would like to think that your death has some meaning;

That you were called for some greater purpose.

Be that as it may,

It left us all grieving with not but fond memories,

Us who all call you our friend.

     This poem is for my friend Cindy, who passed away one year ago today.  She will never really be gone, not as long as those who remain carry her with them.  I know I will.

What Cancer Cannot Do

What Cancer Cannot Do

Author Unknown

Cancer is so limited…
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit.

     I think this poem speaks for itself.  Of all of the terrible things that cancer takes away from us, it is the most important of things that it cannot.