Who Am I Now?

I look in the mirror, and what do I see?

Who is that person staring at me?

They are wearing my clothes

Standing alone in my bedroom;

All signs point to me,

But something is different.

I don’t know what happened,

It’s hard to explain.

One day I was healthy,

The next I was not.

Everything went quite normal,

As much as cancer can go.

I was just sick and needed healing,

Until something went astray.

People were caring, kind, and considerate;

My friends would look after me.

Then people began treating me differently.

Once I thought everything could go back to the way it had been,

Society saw someone else inside of me.

The way I was regarded was weird nonetheless,

From some was an improvement,

Others not so.

My so called “friends-for-life”

Seemed to avoid me,

Leaving me to wonder what I had done or said.

If it was my fault,

I am sorry.

If it wasn’t,

Grow up;

I had to.

If it is jealousy,

I’ll switch places anytime.

I look around at all I have missed

And wonder if I even care anymore?

My priorities have been straightened,

My goal, interests, and ambitions aligned.

I feel different.

I act different.

I look different.

I AM different.

     I don’t know if anyone ever “survives” cancer treatment.  You never will get your old life back; you usually get something better.