Today in History

December 30

     1460 Wars of the Roses: Battle of Wakefield occurred.

     1817 The first coffee seed was planted in Hawaii.

     1948 Cole Porter's musical Kiss Me, Kate opened on Broadway.

     1953 Electronics manufacturer Admiral unveiled the first color television set for consumers, priced at a modest $1,175.

     2009 A British hostage was released alive in Iraq following more than two and a half years of captivity in Iraq and Iran.

Comic Corner

Enjoy the weather wherever you are!

Laugh Daily

This is a “joke” I indirectly stole from Al Pacino (from Johnny Depp):

Skeleton goes into a bar. Orders a beer, and a mop.

Comic Corner

May you be visited by the one on the right, and not the one on the left tonight. 

Merry Christmas!

Types of Cereal

     Are you magical and sweet at the same time?  Then you are Lucky Charms.

     Maybe you are a little older, and when you move around you snap, crackle, and pop!  Rice Krispies is your cereal.

     Are you delicious and a chocolate chook?  Then perhaps you are Cocoa Puffs.

     If you are colorful, incredible, and a little fruity, you are Fruit Loops.

     If you are good with children but also heart-conscious, then you would be Cheerios.

     Do you need to help others stay on their schedules?  If so, you are All Bran.

     Are you an oldie, but goodie?  Does everyone know of you, but has never met you personally?  If you are this classic icon, then you are Wheaties.

     Do you confuse people by miss-guiding them with information?  If you sell yourself as a flavor no one tastes, you would be Apple Jacks.  (Is there ANY apple flavor in there?)

     Are you too good to be true?  Then you are Total.

I take questions such as "what type of cereal would you be?" seriously.

If you were a type of cereal, what type would you be?

Here Comes Santa?

Don't worry Rudolph, I blogged it for you.  Hey, reindeer got to have a sense of humor too, you know.

A Little Christmas Humor

This is not mine, but I thought I should share it:

     When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not
produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the
Pre-Christmas pressure.

   Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which
stressed Santa even more.


   When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them
were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were
out, Heaven knows where.


   Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards
cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.


   Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a
shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had
drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he
accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little
glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and
found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.


   Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the
door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big
Christmas tree.  The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas,
Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where
would you like me to stick it?'


   And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the
Christmas tree.


Not a lot of people know this.

Family Guy “Road to the North Pole”

     In this one hour Family Guy Christmas special, all Stewie wants to do is meet Santa Claus, the hero of his favorite holiday.  When Brian takes him to the Quahog mall to meet the jolly fellow, the guy snubs them after they had waited in line for hours.  Naturally, Stewie resorts to tracking down Santa Claus at the North Pole in order to have his revenge.  He becomes determined to kill the man who ignored his Christmas demands. 

     Brian and Stewie travel to the North Pole and teach Santa true holiday cheer.  What they find is not what either of them expects, and the two have to try to save Christmas.

     They find elves who can no longer function, cannibalistic reindeer, and a hopeless Santa Claus.  If this does not put you in the holiday spirit, I do not know what will.  This show killed what magic there was about the North Pole.  It brings up some valid points about what Santa and his elves would have to do to get by, but carries the matter too far.

     The entirety of the special was far too violent for a show, let alone a Christmas one.  I know it is Family Guy, but even this seemed a little incessant.  When Stewie and Brian are delivering presents, what starts out as a break in, quickly becomes a kidnapping and murder, all in the name of “saving” Christmas.

     There is also an instance where they use a cancer joke, and this one is crossing the line.  It is one thing to poke fun at CANCER, but not people WITH cancer.  (And not everyone with cancer is going to DIE Seth MacFarlane!).

     In the words of Stewie Griffin, “that was a disaster.”  I could not have put it better myself.  I give it 4 out of 10, just because there were some redeeming Family Guy moments.

The Tourist

     The story follows Frank Tupelo, (played by Johnny Depp), an American math teacher traveling Europe.  Elise, (played by Angelina Jolie), intentionally crosses paths with Frank in order to bring him into a deceptive plot.  What started out as a seemingly chance encounter on a train, soon has Frank avoiding gunfire and escaping from handcuffs in order to stay alive.

     Between the scenic streets of Paris, the beautiful canals of Venice, and a gorgeous leading couple, this movie has a great deal of eye candy.

     The plot itself is a thriller that keeps you as paranoid as Frank for the duration of the story.  You feel for him in his confusion as he desperately tries to communicate his bizarre situation while he is simultaneously trying to figure out what is happening.  Being in a foreign country, the people do not even speak the same language he does as he does, and he routinely uses Spanish to try to speak with the citizens of Paris and Venice.  It leads you to wonder where he will choose to travel on his next vacation.

     No spoilers intended, but if $23 million can do what it does in this movie, more men should follow suit, (you will just have to see it to find out what I am talking about).

     I give it 8 out of 10, (just because there are so many other brilliant Johnny Depp movies; stand alone, maybe a 9).  It has a running time of 103 minutes, is rated PG-13, and is in theaters now.

Comic Corner

Careful catching snowflakes next time!

Twas the Month Before Christmas

     This is not my poem, but I thought I should share it.  It gets at the point that we should really be allowed to say “Merry Christmas” wherever we want, just as everyone should have the right to celebrate their holidays.  As Charles Dickens has said, “you keep Christmas in your way, and let me keep it in mine.”

“Twas the month before Christmas,
When all through our land, 

Not a Christian was praying 
Nor taking a stand. 
See the PC Police 
Had taken away 

The reason for Christmas:

No one could say.
 The children were told

By their schools not to sing,

About Shepherds and Wise Men

And Angels and things. 
 It might hurt people's feelings,

The teachers would say

December 25th is 
Just a ' Holiday .'
 Yet the shoppers 
Were ready with cash, checks and credit. 

Pushing folks 
Down to the floor just to get “it!” 
 CDs from Madonna, 
An X BOX, an I-pod 

Something was changing,

Something quite odd! 
 Retailers promoted

Ramadan and Kwanzaa 

In hopes to sell 
Books by Franken & Fonda. 
 As Targets were 
Hanging their trees upside down 

At Lowe's the word Christmas,

Was nowhere to be found. 
 At K-Mart and 
Staples and Penny's and Sears 

You won't hear the word “Christmas;”

It won't touch your ears. 
 Inclusive, sensitive,

Di-ver-si-ty 

Are words that 
Were used to intimidate me. 
 Now Daschle,

Now Darden,

Now Sharpton,

Wolf Blitzen, 

On Boxer,

On Rather,

On Kerry,

On Clinton! 
 At the top of the Senate,

There arose such a clatter 

To eliminate Jesus,

In all public matter. 
 And we spoke not a word,

As they took ‘way our faith

Forbidden to speak

Of salvation and grace.
 The true Gift of Christmas

Was exchanged and discarded 

The reason for the season,

Stopped before it started. 
 So as you celebrate “Winter Break” under your “Dream Tree”
Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me. 

Choose your words carefully;

Choose what you say, 

Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS, 
Not Happy Holiday!”

     In America we have freedom OF religion; not freedom FROM religion.  If you are Christian or not, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all!!!

Word of the Moment (WOM)

     I believe that you are never too old to learn, and that you learn something new every day.  One of the most common things we are learning is vocabulary.  That knowledge is infinitely expanding.

     When I stumble upon an interesting word, or one with an unusual definition that I had not known, I like to pass it on.  Today’s WOM (Word of the Moment) is:

     Raffish-1) Cheaply or showily vulgar in appearance or nature; tawdry. 2) Charachterized by a carefree or fun-loving unconventionality; rakish.

     The costumes at the fashion show were a rather raffish display of the designer’s collection.

     What have YOU learned today?

See If You Can Read This:

     “The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid; aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.
     The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh?”

     I took this took this to mean that spelling is not important…I still do not think it is that essential.  The findings of this study only apply to students who have learned how to read.

     Imagine trying to read a jumbled language before becoming literate in it.  It would be extremely frustrating.  Once your mind knows the words and spelling structure, the oerdr of the wdros deos not metatr ayrnome!!!

Sharing the Weather

     How cool is it that we all share the weather?  No matter where you are in the world, you have access to the same climates that everyone else is privy to.  You can see the sun, the moon, and the stars, have the chance to experience rain and snow, the possibility of tornados or hurricanes, and always feel the wind.

     If you know of a place on Earth that never sees any of these or feels the wind, please inform me.

     We are all connected through the weather in some way.  We see the same things, feel the same water, and breathe the same air.

     If you think about it, the Earth is better at recycling than we are, and does it constantly.  All of the rain that comes from the sky came from the ground.  It is a never ending cycle.  When we feel the water coming down, it is as if we are connected momentarily to every other person who has ever touched that molecule.

     It is the same thing when we breathe.  The particles in the air are not brand new when we inhale.  They have been circulating since the beginning of time.  With each breath, those molecules have touched other people, connecting us even further to the human population.  (And the animal kingdom in general.)

     Not to completely gross you out; I think it is cool that we are all intertwined with one another.  Just think-you may be breathing the same air as your idol right now, or running in the rain that they have gotten caught in.  (Or your worst enemy may have drank the water you are about to drink.)

Frosty the Snowflake

Cafe Drinks: Recipe Repertoire

     With life constantly being on the go and rushed nowadays, it is nice to be able to make some of the coffee house drinks that have the prices gouged if you were to purchase them out.  Why not make your own peppermint hot chocolate or caramel frappe?  There is no law that says restaurants have a monopoly on those hot and frozen beverages.  If you experiment in your own kitchen, there may be no limits to what you can create.

     Here are some of the recipes I have stumbled across, and their café house equivalent.  Try out some on your own, and let me know if you discover anything new!  (All vanilla ice cream can be replaced with frozen yogurt.)

     1) Frozen Hot Chocolate: A packet of hot chocolate mix, a cup of luke warm water, a cup of vanilla ice cream, and 3/4 cup half and half.  Dissolve the hot chocolate in the water, and blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth.  Garnish with whipped cream for that extra something.

     2) Mocha Frappe:  A cup of vanilla ice cream, ¼ cup of brewed coffee, chocolate syrup to taste.  Blend until smooth.  Can garnish with whipped cream and more chocolate syrup on top.  Drink with a straw.

     3) Caramel Frappe: A cup of vanilla ice cream, ¼ cup of brewed coffee, caramel syrup to taste.  Blend until smooth.  Can garnish with whipped cream and more caramel syrup on top.  Drink with a straw.

     4) Peppermint Hot Chocolate: Make instant hot chocolate following package instructions.  Add a candy cane (or crush peppermint candy and add to mix).

     5) Berry Smoothie: ¼ cup blueberries, ¼ raspberries, ¼ blackberries, ½ cup skim milk, 6 oz. vanilla yogurt.  (Can try different fruit, keeping to about ¾ cup.  To make thicker, add ¼-½ cup frozen vanilla yogurt.)  Blend together until smooth, and serve with a straw.

     Get creative!!!

Comic Corner-Frazz

This is one of my favorite comic strips.  This one makes students think more carefully about Sparknoting their homework.

Comic Corner-The Lockhorns

I enjoy this couple.  They tell it how it is, but you can tell that they love each other deep down...very deep down.  I thought this comic summed up social networking, and the internet in general, nicely.

Cancer Posting Disclosure

     This is a no-boundary zone against cancer.  I am not afraid to kick it where it hurts by making jokes, because laughter is the best medicine (when taken regularly with chemotherapy for cancer patients).  I also am willing to say what I think, and not afraid to get emotional.

     Feel free to comment on anything that strikes your interest.

Comic Corner

Bald is Beautiful



Time Flies

     I woke up yesterday, and it was December.  Where does the time go?  As a child, we can’t wait to grow up.  Nothing comes soon enough.  As we get older and would like to stop aging, it seems as if time could not possibly move any faster.

     This is because we are always looking ahead and working toward a plateau that we will never reach.  We are always thinking along the lines of, “if I can JUST get through school,” “if I can JUST get that job,” “JUST that promotion,” “if I can JUST get to retirement.” 

     When will it be enough?  By the end, our lives have simply passed us by because we were trying to get on to the next bigger and better thing.  If we are always just trying to get THROUGH everything, how are we ever expecting to ENJOY anything?

     Life is not something to “do.”  Instead of viewing each day as a choir, we should appreciate it as the true gift that it is.

     You only get one today.  You got it for a reason.  Make the most of it. 

     Yesterday is history, and tomorrow will come when it is ready.  Make the most of each day so you can ultimately live life to its fullest.  Do not grin and bear life; smile and enjoy it!

Holiday Mixed-Up

     Does anyone else feel as if the holiday season has been growing over the past few years?  It used to be that the Christmas season did not start until AFTER Thanksgiving.  The following day was the biggest shopping day of the year, (ever heard of Black Friday?), and the craziness of the holidays would begin.  At 6 am, the morning after Thanksgiving, there would be lines waiting to get into every department store across the country.  There would be sales on every hot ticket item, and the lowest prices of the year.  Everyone had to get their share of the sale, and they would wait in the cold for hours.  When the stores would finally open, a mad rush of frustrated shoppers would frantically scurry to scoop up as many of the treasured goods as they could.  People would get hurt, some would be upset at what they could not get to in time, and it was assumed that everyone would spend a lot of money.  Sounds like fun, right?  A good, old American tradition.

     The stores have been ruining Black Friday!  They cram every last centimeter of newspaper and second of television air time with advertisements about their low price items and gimmicks to lure people into their store at the crack of dawn.  What they are hesitant to tell you, is that they only stock a few of each of those items in every store.  They drive the anxiety through the roof when 500 people are rushing to the same store for the same 8 blue ray players.  Then they wonder why people get trampled to death.

     Not only are you guaranteed to not get the item you want on the biggest shopping day of the year, (unless you are going to save money on something no one else will going for, such as underwear), but you will spend a lot of time waiting around for the sale to even begin.  The stores have begun to move up the time they open to enhance you to come to them first.  This year there were stores opening at 5 am, 4 am, 3 am, and even midnight!  One store began their sale at 10 pm on Thanksgiving night!  For one thing, spreading out the times that stores open is taking away from the madness of Black Friday.  That is a pro and a con, depending on who you are.  But pushing it into Thanksgiving?  That is taking it a little too far.  That is a day to be with family and friends, and to be THANKFUL.  Not to be running around town trying to save a buck!  If we keep pushing the Christmas season up anymore, soon we will be holiday shopping in our Halloween costumes.

     The moving up of the season just kills the spirit too quickly.  The Hallmark Channel has been playing holiday movies for awhile, radio station 100.5 fm plays holiday songs 24/7 beginning the day after Thanksgiving, and ABC Family has their countdown to their 25 Days of Christmas.  Who ever heard of a countdown to a countdown?  It gets to the point that people are so fed up with the holidays by the time that they actually happen, that the Christmas trees are out by the curb on Christmas Eve.  I’d like to enjoy my holiday, thank you very much.  My tree goes up in December, and comes down in January.

     But, to each his own.  Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, Happy (fill in the blank)!  You should not let anyone decide when you should celebrate.

THANKSgiving

     In America, we set aside the fourth Thursday of November to celebrate Thanksgiving.  We eat a lot of food, mostly turkey and pie, and are supposed to think about what we are thankful for.  It is nice to be grounded and reminded that we are not alone in this world, and how different our lives would be without the simplest of comforts.  It just makes me wonder why we only set aside one of the 365.25 days a year to be thankful.

     I am thankful for…

     1) Soap.  This includes hand soap, laundry detergent, shampoo, body wash, and any other cleaning product you can think of.  Of course my favorite is instant hand sanitizer.  We have the luxury of being clean all of the time, of which more people should appreciate, (and take full advantage).

     2) Friends, family, celebrities (like Johnny Depp), movies, and television.  They are what keep life interesting.

     3) Water when I am thirsty, and food when I am hungry…and not so hungry.

     4) Vacations.  They always come just in the nick of time.

     5) Phones so I can talk to my family and friends, and caller id so that I can avoid talking to my family and friends.

     6) This blog.  I can say all I want, and have no idea that no one is reading it!

     7) Electricity.  How could we use the computer without it?

     8) Hot running water.  There is nothing like taking a hot shower on a cold day.

     9) People who care about me.  Even if it is only to occasionally read a blog post because there is nothing on television.

     10) LIFE…it is a fun game, a tasty cereal, and a wonderful thing to experience.

What are you thankful for?

Welcome

     I never thought I would start a blog.  I suppose it is like everything else today: everyone has one originally, I think it is ridiculous and swear that I will never use one, and eventually I end up having one of my own that I am completely dedicated to.  Fifty years ago there was no such thing as the internet, personal laptops, the iPod, iPads, or cell phones.  People seemed to be genuinely happy with whatever they could afford, and the ONE television in their house was sure to be black and white.  Now, if the children are not getting the latest and greatest thing on the market, they are not content with anything.  Their home televisions are even in 3D.  As if the iPhone was not good enough, the day the new one comes out, they have to be standing in line at the store to go and replace the perfectly fine version they already own.  I think the companies wait for everyone to buy their product before they release their updated version.  There is always something better coming out; how much longer can we keep up with the market?  As amazing as the Wii is, now all of the systems have motion games that react to your body.  Whatever happened to Pong?!  Maybe it is the way that I was brought up; I appreciate what I own...I still WANT all of these things, but I understand that I cannot have EVERYTHING.
     So I suppose that is why I started this blog.  I could have it all by myself.
     So remember on Black Friday as you are pushing someone's grandmother over for that last video game...the next best thing is not going to come out until AFTER Christmas!  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!